Thoughts

I can’t even put into words how he makes me feel. Happy, incredible, beautiful, loved, amazing, adored, special, totally and completely in love with this boy. Or man, I should say. My heart races whenever I see him, and just hearing his voice or seeing his beautiful face, I always smile to myself. He could never do anything to not make me love him. I never thought I would be able to find someone who is perfect for me. We are perfectly different. We know what the other is thinking without saying a word. We finish each others sentences without a second thought. Growing up, I could never picture who my other half would be, but now I can describe him like the back of my hand. I could easily pick him out in a huge crowd, even though his 6’4 build might have something to do with that. He’s everything I could imagine and more. He treats me just the way he should, when I want to be loved, he loves me everything he has and more. When I need a shoulder to cry on, he holds me until everything is ok. When I just need someone to laugh with, he’s cracking jokes left and right and makes me forget about the world. There’s no such thing as time with him. I could spend forever with him and it still wouldn’t be enough. I think he feels the same way, I hope so at least :) this summer will definitely be a chapter in our lives where we grow, both because we’re separated and because we will improve our three way relationship with Jesus Christ. My heart is full and it will just keep growing until I get to see him again. And even though I think it’s impossible, I know I will love him even more than I do right now. 73 days and counting. I know I will start crying the moment I set my eyes on him, out of pure joy. I’ve never felt this way before and it’s glorious. I am so blessed and so fortunate and only have God to thank for this amazing man.

It never fails, as many times as I leave my house to go back to campus, whether it’s for a long time or short time, a few tears always manage to fall. It’s not that I’m sad, it’s just the fact that I know I’m growing up and I won’t get to wake up in that house every morning like I have grown up doing. I don’t miss high school one bit, but the part where I would ride to school with my best friend and come back home and talk to my family all day and then wake up the next morning and them all be there, sometimes I miss it, sometimes I love living by myself. Just the Sunday nights that I pack my stuff up to head back to my apartment, the car packed, my seatbelt on, and my car in reverse with my family standing outside waving to me as I leave, it always makes me teary eyed.

1. Listen without interrupting. (Proverbs 18)
2. Speak without accusing. (James 1:19)
3. Give without sparing. (Proverbs 21:26)
4. Pray without ceasing. (Colossians 1:9)
5. Answer without arguing. (Proverbs 17:1)
6. Share without pretending. (Ephesians 4:15)
7. Enjoy without complaint. (Philippians 2:14)
8. Trust without wavering. (Corinthians 13:7)
9. Forgive without punishing. (Colossians 3:13)
10. Promise without forgetting. (Proverbs 13:12)

Dear Justin Storm,

                Boy, I miss you like crazy. I miss seeing your gorgeous blue eyes. I miss your gentle ways. I miss hearing your band practice from Elise’s house. I miss you telling me not to play your drums. I miss texting you and never knowing what to expect as your response. I miss calling you and somehow getting Papa John’s.  

                I never got the chance to tell you how awesome of a prom date you were, even if you were too “white” to dance with some of the songs. Silly boy. You were so handsome at prom, and even though I kind of talked you into going with me, thank you so much for doing so. I hate to think that a month later I would never see you again. I can’t even think about prom or anything around it. It makes me so sad.

                I miss just the three of us hanging out. You, me and Elise. We had a different relationship than most of your friends had with you. Somehow, we didn’t have to impress each other. Everything was chill and it had been that way since day one. You were my Justin. I was your protective older sister and even though you were younger than me you were my protective older brother. Thank you for that. I could probably write you letters and letters of how I feel and how I so wish I could see you again. I wish I could tell you not to go on that trip with Adam. I wish I could have called you on the way down to Florida and told you to not get off at that exit and end up on that wrong turn road.

                Going to your funeral was the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my whole life. It seemed so unreal. It still seems unreal and it has almost been 9 months. I still walk into your house and think that you’re going to walk down the stairs and flash that beautiful smile at me, but that will probably never change.

                I’m trying my best to look after Ben and Savannah for you. I hope you know that they love you. Even if things were a little rocky when you left, they really do love and miss you. I miss you. I love you. Thank you for the pennies from Heaven. Say hi to Jesus, Adam and my Uncle T.J. for me. I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU. I can’t wait to see you again, and I know I will. I love you. Always and forever.

-Carrie Anne